a few weeks more than a week

 

 

My new blog:

 

refusetheordinary.blogspot.com

The last year has been a roller coaster beyond compare. No one could have guessed the way that it ended, not after the way it began. So many things have been torn apart and rebuilt, roots pulled up and replanted, branches pulled off and new one's grown in. It is amazing and miraculous, what God has done with me this year. I almost do not know where to begin. At this time last year I was in Florida, maybe even on the drive back to Michigan with my dad. I arrived home and in the following days, pulled down the Christmas tree and decore as well as unpacked my things, done the laundry, gone out job searching and gotten ready to start another semester. I got a job at a gymnastics center and went to school, just trying to get by with my grades, and "hungout" with my ex boyfriend (drama fully saturated this whole ordeal), sometimes I bought groceries, sometimes i made dinner and cleaned house, sometimes my dad was home. But in general, that was my life. My dad traveled a lot so I lived on my own, followed my own rules saw who i wanted and did whatever I felt like doing. So much drama last winter ended up in the spring changing things around a bit, I lost my job, broke up with my ex which doesn't make sense since we weren't dating at the time anyway, started dating a different guy, my mom came home and i started following the normal house rules, at least when the parents were looking, doing all sorts of things when I said that i was doing something else and everything the average non-Christian punk teenager does when they are in high, accept I was a Christian and I was in college. I guess you could call me a late bloomer in the rebellion arena. By summer I knew my life was a mess and was trying to fix it but apparently not fast enough for some people...My parents put me under house arrest and basically took away the use of technology. I had to instal the insulation in the upstairs in a room and do various other chores. They let me keep my car but apart from church and babysitting, I wasn't allowed to leave. To any immature child this would be hell and in a way it was. I lost my boyfriend over it and basically my life in general as I had been living it. But I knew I needed it, so when it came right down to it I accepted it and didn't fight all that hard against it. I could have moved out or run away, I just chose not too. I had been doing what I thought was Christian all the year before(2007) that I didn't notice how my morals and faith had been slipping away, not until it was too late. Even with everythign that was going on that spring, even though my parents didn't know it, I had bene begging and cryign and pleading with God to help my get thigns back together, for Him to pull me out of the grave I had dug. He did so through my parents and house prison. I can't deny that I hated it, that my parents did that to me, even now there is still a scar left from it. But I understood they couldn't trust me and I couldn't blame them for it, I didn't trust me either. But despite knowing that, it was a hard thing to hear and hard thing to follow so when my sister came home and then left, I left with her. She and I talked about me leaving with her for a week or so but I dind't want to tleave my friends even if I was under arrest, I didn't decide to go until an hour before we pulled out of the drive. She was packing upstairs and I went up and she said it was my last chance to go with her and all I had to do was ask my dad. Tired fo everything, I did. I found him asked and as soon as he said okay, I packed and was gone. No apologies were given no come back soons. I was gone.  I lived with her for two weeks before going back to Michigan. Sometimes I went to work with her, sometimes we went on walks but a majority of my time was spent watching tv, on my computer or sleeping, all of which occured on her couch. When the house arrest had been set down I was told I couldn't go where I wanted for college and that I had to pick Pensecola Christian College, a school I had said I would never even be caught dead attending and  program in Minnesota that my sister went to that would have been pointless since it was for freshmen and I was starting upperclassmen status. So my sister and I talked about it in KY and decided maybe they would let me go to her school in Louisville. So I applied and then went home. My parents agreed to let me go to Boyce and a week later I was all packed up and drove to KY by myself. I moved out of Michigan. Well when I got to Ky it turns out that things didn't work out. Due to the evils of my past the college decided that I could not attend Boyce until the Winter semester. So for two weeks I was homeless and lived in my sisters basement on a couch that was two feet too short. We finally found a place for me to live. The Maison de la Vie, a community house that is sponsered by the church I attended. I lived on the third floor by myself and had 4 house mates on the second floor. I got a job where my sister worked and also at a fruit market. After getting settled in things seemed better. I took classes online from the school I had been attending in Mi and worked two jobs and had Bible study and family meals with my house mates. However, I was fired from the job where my sister works and had a lot of problems getting my school done and done well due to the amount that I was working. But all in all, the Fall has been a blessing. Right after I moved to KY I met Joel Kelly. We met online before I moved then we met in person the first weekedn in August. We talked and got along amazingly. I, however, had been told by my dad before I left that i couldn't date anyone for a year. Well Joel and I hungout a few times then on Sept 13 he called my dad and asked if he could date me, suprise of all suprises, my dad had never met him and had tol me i couldn't date but he said yes! We saw each other on average about every two weeks then started seeing each other once a week, he sepnt the night here at my pastor's and went to church with me. I spent the night there(wilmore. ky) at a couple from his accountability group's house and went to church with him. At work I got a raise and started working for two managers on a regular basis. I work deli and baking and whatever else is needed. I have worked for every manager in the store. I have started helping in the youth group that Joel leads and after taking him home for thanksgiving and Christmas and him taking me home for both as well...Dec 29 he proposed and Dec 30 my dad approved. I am now officially engaged to Joel Phillip Kelly, the most amazing, loving, God-fearing guy I have ever known!! My realtionship with God has improved greatly since I left Mi and Joel has been such a blessing and help in that regard as also has been my house adn the churches I attend here in Louisville and Lexington. God be praised for the work He has done this year in my life. He has taken all the pieces of pain, hurt, broken dreams, broken promises, and failures and has turned them into the beautiful picture that is now my life. I am so blessed and thankful. I have a good friend at work and a few other people and thoguh there is one there that won't talk to me anymore, I am alright and I know things will be okay, even thoguh I miss their friendship, It is probably best this way and as for the house. I have two new rrom mates on the third floor with me. It has taken some adjustment to haveing other people up here but they are sweet girls and things are alright. I am a little stretched for funds this month but after Christmas it is expected and with God and all the work He has done in and for me I have full confidence that He will provide. And I am engaged to the most wonderful man and my family and his both approve. Thank you to my friends in Michigan for sticking with me through the tough times, staying friends with me in my self pitying times, for not giving up on me and for always and still being there. Thank you to my family for also putting up with me. I have been quite the bitch (yes I did just use that term) in the last several years. Thanks to my parents, even though I have hated you at times and thought you were alright during others, and though I still say what you did was harsh I thank you for it and want to assure you that I still love you, I loved you before, I loved you during and I love you now, maybe even moreso now than before, because I now know how much you love me, even if you don't show very well. Thanks to my sister for putting up with me. And thanks to all the friends I now have here in Ky. You have all been a blessing and I hope and pray God blesses you in the coming years as much and more than He has blessed me this last year.

I'm going to start blogging again! I really am! I promise I am...just need to get life settled first...it's been a roller coaster for the last several years...sorry I am coming back though...I have written a lot...soon as I type it I will start putting things up.